Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Strange Case of Kent Corbin (as re-told by HP Lovecraft)

Kent Corbin
North Stars
Age: 30B/T: R/R
Born: Swampscott, MA
Position(s): P (LRA)
View Hardball Dynasty Profile

The fevered, nightmarish dreamscapes began haunting young Mr. Corbin in his western Massachusetts cabin prior to Season 9. Every night, without exception, saw the man sit bolt upright in his bed - covered in sweat and a healthy sense of foreboding. The cabin itself, it's rustic sensibilities telling of its extreme age, was quiet but for the insistent sounds of whippoorwills.

Each morning over coffee he would entertain the possibility of driving to Arkham to see the alienist at Miskatonic University, but would quickly dissuade himself from this frantic notion by the time his morning workouts were completed.

Corbin was a major league pitcher for the Rochester Red Royals at the time, and, by all accounts, a rather good one. In the 'Bullpen' as the vernacular would describe it, Corbin would relieve starting pitchers of their assignments, and proceed to get opposing batters to make an out with regularity. But starting in season 9, this would no longer be the case.

His fragile mind, possessed by horrific images that haunted what should be his restful night-sleep, would parade themselves in his waking mind, disrupting his conscious thought to an irreparable degree. Atop the pitching mound, in a situation that previously saw him inducing batsmen to ground the baseball to an infielder, Corbin would now issue a poorly thrown ball that the batsman would now drive to the outfield, uncaught. Runner after runner would score, spoiling the efforts of the starting pitchers and causing harm to the Rochester side.

This continued game after game, with each progressive season becoming worse and worse for Corbin. Team-mates and coaches alike tried to counsel Corbin, but none could draw forth the horrible truth from the beleaguered baseballer. Nevertheless, the Rochester organization continued to employ Corbin, much to the dismay of fans throughout Western New York.

To this day, in season 11, Corbin is still plagued by these unspeakable montrosities.
Formless mounds of evil, be-tentacled things with multiple eyeballs revolving in loathsome sockets - batrachian minions eager to tear at Corbin's flesh - these appeared night after night, and haunted his appearances atop the baseball pitching mound.

Afraid to tell anyone, and unwilling to seek professional counsel, Corbin may be doomed to this downward statistical spiral until the visiting night gaunts are called off.

As to why Corbin is accursed, one may investigate the sailing misadventures of his great grandfather Charles Dexter Ward Corbin, who brought back many amulets and oddities from the South Seas, and expired on his death bed rattling on about a mysterious place called 'Dagon'.
Of course, the place of the elder Corbin's passing was the very ancestral cabin that the younger Corbin has been suffering through thse haunting nightmares!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

World Series Champs

Season 1. San Juan Clementes (mazz993) - AL

Season 2. Seattle Pilots (threester) - AL

Season 3. Scranton Shrutes (mookie79) - AL

Season 4. Jacksonville betelnut (cpkung) - AL

Season 5. Jacksonville betelnut (cpkung) - AL

Season 6. Wichita Wallabies (jdbkaput) - NL

Season 7. Seattle Pilots (threester) - AL

Season 8. Monterrey Pepper Jacks (tooly_mctool) - NL

Season 9. Ottawa Sundragons (sundragons) - NL

Season 10. San Juan Myrmidons (doontristy) - NL

Monday, November 24, 2008

A new type of international FA

For those of us in dire need of international free agents we can always hope that the WiS folk will see the light and follow in the footsteps of the Pittsburgh Pirates franchise. Yes, the storied franchise turned to India in the form of a talent contest looking for new talent. Then again, these guys may simply be the myriad of international FAs that our scouts find with a ceiling overall rating in the 40's that the scouts sell as great tallent.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Red Royal Radio

(What follows is an excerpt of the "2 Vexed Dudes" radio show on WHAM, Rochester, New York
in late September)

Carl Lovejoy, aka Big C: Hello and welcome to another airing of the Dudes.

Bob Heinz, aka The Sauce: Hey there. What a mess, huh?

L: No kidding. What the hell happened here? I used to enjoy following the Royals.

H: A whole lot of craptacular stuff happened, and we want some callers here to vent, because
I'm about all vented out.

H: The latest agony - a 22-1 slaughter at the hands of the hated Schrutes - in the words of
that guy who played Ike in "The Longest Day" - 'too bitter to contemplate'.

L: This could be "The Longest Season". But contemplate we will. That game was a disgrace. I mean that's the kind of stuff you expect in Vancouver, or some weird Canadian city, not here in glorious Rochester.

L: Let's get a few words in and we'll be right back with Hugh from Spencerport.

(7 minutes of commercials, weather updates and traffic reports follow)

H: Alright! We're back; let's hear from Hugh.

Hugh: Hello?

L: Go ahead Hugh.

H: Your last name isn't Jass is it?


Hugh: No it is not.

L: Sorry Hugh. Go ahead.

Hugh: Yeah, um, this teams stinks so bad it makes me wish Buffalo was still around.

(muffled chortles)

L: I hear ya pal.

Hugh: Why'd they let Melo walk 10 guys? Are they nuts? What were Hypnotoad and Hubbard

[Hubbard is the Rochester pitching coach] thinking?

H: Melo started out horrible this year after being acquired from Scranton, then started pitching well - and then I don't know. Really inexplicable.

L: I think they put a Wii in the clubhouse and were playing Rock Band.

Hugh: Really? Are you serious?

L: Of course not Hugh.

L: Let's go to Jerry in Greece. Jerry?

Jerry: Hey guys. First time long time.

H: Great.

L: Super. What's up?

Jerry: Well, not the Red Royals. Think they can get back on track?

L: Not next year. They got some good hitters down in High A right, but they're at least 2
years away from making an impact on the major league club.

Jerry: What about Cesar Amaro down in AA? I hear clubs were hot for him earlier in the year.

H: I think Amaro's as close to an 'untouchable' as you can get without actually belonging to
the hindu caste of the same name.

L: Yeah, ownership is still stinging from trading Luis James all those years ago - they're not going to do that again. He might be up next year.

Jerry: Thanks guys.

L: Thanks Jerry. Now Melissa from Rochester.

Melissa: Hey Sauce and C. I keep hearing rumors that the owner wants to move the team to
Dayton, Ohio. I wish he would.

H: I think the only hold up for the move is building a big enough park in the Gem City. He's
said flat out that will move from this city as soon as Dayton passes a bond issue.

L: Kinda unbelievable Dayton wouldn't pass a levy to bring in major league ball, but there
you -

H: Not major league as much as the Red Royals though -

L: Ouch. Thanks Melissa.

(end part 1)

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

World Series Champs

Season 1. San Juan Clementes (mazz993) - AL

Season 2. Seattle Pilots (threester) - AL

Season 3. Scranton Shrutes (mookie79) - AL

Season 4. Jacksonville betelnut (cpkung) - AL

Season 5. Jacksonville betelnut (cpkung) - AL

Season 6. Wichita Wallabies (jdbkaput) - NL

Season 7. Seattle Pilots (threester) - AL

Season 8. Monterrey Pepper Jacks (tooly_mctool) - NL

Season 9. Ottawa Sundragons (sundragons) - NL

Saturday, May 10, 2008

2008 NL League Leader wrap-up


David Baez
(Burlington) 60 - The highest total in either league, Baez made a lot of happy hippies in Burlington this season. Let's hope he wants to be paid in granola bars.

Larry Butler
(Ottawa) 159 - Butler has had (another) monster season, and has established himself as perhaps the best young hitter in the game.

Alex Pujols
(Charleston) 145 - Caught just 9 times - he must make Vince Coleman look like Harmon Killebrew.

Batting Average:
Sherm Bradshaw
(Santa Fe) .345 - Bradshaw bested teammate Kirk Winston by just 2 points. Any other ballpark - they hit around .280 (just kidding KP! I'll be expecting the trade offer shortly).

Larry Butler (Ottawa) 1.056 - See his previous entry.

Bob Stargell
(Monterrey) 17 - A very good year from a very good young lefty. A Pepperjacks mainstay for a while, I'd wager.

Miguel Rodriguez
(Oklahoma City) 42 - Only blew 5 chances, and the Bombers (boo!) only won 68 games. I suspect a statue of him has been erected in OKC, albeit nowhere near the old Federal Building.

Felipe Feliz
(Santa Fe) 224 - The enigmatic and well-traveled Feliz finally finds his comfort zone in Santa Fe, of all places.

William Taft
(Philadelphia) 3.01 - *No*, no *that* William Taft, this one is a veteran pitcher having a career year, not a morbidly obese President who introduced the bathtub to the White House.

Season 8 AL League Leader Wrap-up



Ryan Cannon (Rochester) 58 - Who? I know, a pretty one dimensional hitter, but that is a pretty good dimension. Edged out the much better known William Washington by 1 homer - both homered in the last game of the season.

(tie) Javier Chavez (Buffalo) and William Washington (Seattle) 146 - These two will ultimately settle the tie via deathmatch, as their owners would like to in real life.

Dorian Alred
(Little Rock) 105 - Got caught just 18 times, which, unfortunately, is a pretty high CS rate for HBD right now. Just edged out the amazing Fred Simms of Scranton who had 102.

Batting Average:
Andre Martin
(Rochester) .355 Big Andre had a late surge to surpass Cesar Cortazar's .353 for Jacksonville.

Andre Martin
(Roc) 1.133 I included this to piss off William Washington.

(tie) Cap DiSarcina (Pittsburgh), Eli Santana (Charlotte), and Piper Jackson (Jacksonville) 20 - All 3 quite obviously had exceptional seasons, although Jackson has trouble keeping up in the ERA department.

Michael Choi
(Jacksonville) 50 - Wow. A very impressive number, only blowing 8 of save opportunities. This is also a new single-season record for saves.

Eli Santana
(Charlotte) 260 - 7 fewer than last year, although I doubt that infamy is complaining.

Vic Cruz
(Seattle) 2.25 - So much for switching leagues/ballparks. Cruz improved his performance from last year for his new Seattle team.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

My 7-year long dinner with Andre....

A similar thing here with high priced sluggers.
There are certainly other worthy batters in the league, but this only concerns the highest paid sluggers.

This does highlight Andre Martin's Ruthian presence, but take a look at the underrated Pedro Cruz of the Yankees. And pity poor Mike Bradley.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Not at all like that old Kinks song....

..."Low Budget".

You'll have to click the image to get a better look.

This list above has the higher priced/more effective Starting Pitchers of Gehrig's first 7 seasons.
I started with some obvious ones, and then also checked the prior Cy Young award winners and checked the career leaders in some key categories.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Someone broke a mirror in the state of New York

More chart *nerdiness* here. Above are the win totals, per year, for all the teams still run by their original owners.
New York has more wins than anyone in this 7-year span, with 671. They are followed closely by Rochester with 665.

However, all these wins have amounted to just 2 LCS championships, by NY all the way back in season 1 and by Rochester last year.

Budget Fun, part deux

Above is the payroll history of the entire AL for the past 8 seasons.

The highest average payroll for this period belongs to the Kansas City franchise - a little over $108 million. KC has a checkered past to be sure - 3 different teams in the Lone Star state, plus stops in Louisville and Tampa Bay. This high payroll has resulted in no post-season appearances.
Good luck eric!

The lowest average payroll belongs to the near-ubiquitous threester and his Seattle Pilot franchise (under $72 million). This cheapskate has produced 2 World Series championships.
But good news everyone - his payroll shot up this year so maybe we have a shot.

Hypnotoad out.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Budget Fun

Here's a Player Payroll history for the AL North - I'll try to cover the rest of the AL when I have some more time.

There are 3 World Series championships here - Seattle in seasons 2 and 7; and Scranton in season 3.

Although Rochester and Seattle have remained in place, the other two teams have a more transient history.
Scranton played in Minnesota for the first 2 seasons. Montreal started out as the first Pittsburgh Pirates, then moved to Buffalo and Augusta, before finally finding a home in French Canada in Montreal.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

New Blood

Just wanted to formally introduce the new blood to the Gehrig world. Just remember that is normal for domi to talk about hot tubs.

In the AL South:

Kansas City Kansans (ericbergson)
Richmond Rebels (jacoby66)

Making a comeback to Gehrig in the NL North:

Pawtucket Rainbows (spit_ballerz)

In the NL East:

Indianapolis Hoosiers (schindlerjm)
Philadelphia Phillies (spanglerb_02)

In the NL South:

Charleston Harbor Kings (socalzamboni)

In the NL West:

San Diego Friar Tux (tyd2k1)

Sunday, February 24, 2008

World Series Champions

Season 1. San Juan Clementes (mazz993)
Season 2. Seattle Pilots (threester)
Season 3. Scranton Shrutes (mookie79)
Season 4. Jacksonville betelnut (cpkung)
Season 5. Jacksonville betelnut (cpkung)
Season 6. Wichita Wallabies (jdbkaput)
Season 7. Seattle Pilots (threester)


Hopefully we'll be able to post good stories and stats off the Gehrig world of WiS. If any of you have any ideas as to what you'd like to see on here please let me know.